82. Sunday, 21 Sep 2025

Owen had his MRI on Monday and his radiology oncologist called the next day to tell us that the results were good. When I read the MRI report yesterday, I didn’t feel so good.

The radiologist had compared his last three MRIs to the one that was done last Monday. He stated that enhancement was growing and that they needed to pay attention to Owen’s next MRIs.

Owen feels good that the doctor called to say that the MRI was good and he doesn’t understand why I’m not ok with it if he is. I told him that from 8 May, I’ve been in a heightened state of alert and that the report just puts me in a state where I need to pay attention and make sure that I’m not missing anything.

Separately, I have not been doing ok. Constant state of alert - from Owen, the house, the guests, work, Misa and Kiyo - have me running on fumes. And it takes energy to showcase that I’m ok even when I’m not.

I am tired of being around people. I am tired of the news and seeing ugliness everywhere I go. I’m tired of the rat race.

I’m sick to my stomach that a person can’t be treated respectfully if they openly express an opinion.

I don’t feel excitement going into my favorite time of the year. I am definitely not ok.