101. Back Home - Aug 20, 2026

The MRI shows cancer progression.

Owen has been beaten up with the nausea. I know that this has been a huge factor to his mental status. He is not in a good place. But I drove us to BAMC after leaving Houston and although we waited about two hours, they were able to dispense him that miracle anti-nausea medication that MDA wanted $36,000 for.

I am becoming bitter about healthcare here in our country. How do people survive cancers if they don’t have $36,000 in their pockets to drop once a month? Are pharmaceutical companies prioritizing profit over sustaining life?

My heart is heavy.

Owen wants to move out of the house, he tells me. And it’s because of the regimented life he needs to uphold for his treatments. He says he wants another caregiver. He fails to see that it is beyond managing his appointments.

I do think that his mental state will stabilize once the miracle drug kicks in but a lot of damage has been done.

You start to ask yourself whether you are doing the right things anymore. You cry when no one’s around.

I dusted off my sewing machine so that I can make things. It brings me a little bit of joy in this dark place.

I remind myself that time is ticking and regret is something I don’t want to live with.

I gotta keep moving forward.