32. Is Summer Over Yet?

It’s a week into the 4-week recovery time for Owen. The nausea and vomiting still have a deep hold on him.

Owen’s medical and radiation oncologists are speaking to us about Tumor Treating Fields and a device that he has to wear for his next level of treatment along with chemotherapy. Owen is not excited about this one bit. It’s called Optune Gio and it is worn 18 hours of his day. He is not liking that he has to keep his head bald to keep the electrodes on this head.

We went to see our favorite neurosurgeon, Dr.

B.

Dr. B is just awesome people.

He’s is down to earth, honest, and so positive.

Owen’s been waiting to see him to ask his biggest question: is he cleared to drive?

This happens to be the root of some of my stress. No one wants to be restricted. And I don’t want Owen to feel restricted. But I’d be lying if I said I was fine with him driving.

Dr. B, who has been such an advocate of Owen getting back to his normal routine, gave an answer that I felt was very much a fair answer. He told Owen that there are state laws restricting those who have had seizures - specifically 90 days since the last seizure. He said it was a concern about accidents that others may cause but pin the fault on Owen because he has had brain surgery. He said he didn’t want to see Owen’s retirement pay taken from him.

That’s when he suggested a drivers rehabilitation agency that would give him a driving examination. If he passed, he’d be legally certified to drive. That if any accident happened, it wasn’t going to be pinned on him because of his condition.

I’m not excited about him driving. Let’s be honest, I don’t trust other drivers. At all.

So without directly saying it, Dr. B said he shouldn’t be driving without this certification.

Dr. B has been allowed to stay in Owen’s circle of doctors until this visit. We now start what I believe to be our next fight to keep him in our circle. Tricare very much wants us to stay within a military treatment facility. We want him to stay for continuity of care. My next big prayer request.

Dr. B wants an MRI much earlier than what is currently scheduled with the radiation oncologist. He doesn’t want to step on toes, but he is very much wanting to stay on top of Owen’s care.

Owen is doing ok. He has lost hair on the side where he received the radiation treatments.

So I’m running on reserves.

The stress that is not having your home (why has it taken almost two months to reconstruct our floors and baseboards???). We may have our home back by tomorrow. HALLEFREAKINLUJAH!

The stress of getting this house ready for our guests. We have family coming to be with Owen starting next week.

The stress that comes from trying to be the best caregiver that I could be for Owen.

The stress that is trying to be the fullest teammate and employee. If people only knew how hard my team works, how hard my leadership work, how massive our mission is….

I don’t know what I was thinking as a younger me when I thought that sleep was a waste of a third of our lives. I might just be paying for those thoughts now because I just can’t seem to get enough of it.

There is just so much that has to be done and not enough time in the day.

Next week, my office team is hosting a conference downtown. I have to dust off my facilitator hat that was buried in the boxes stuffed in the garage. I have been looking forward to this event for about half a year now. I pray that I am solid for this event.

People who know me know that getting in front of folks is not a challenge. But I’ve never had to deal with the plate that I carry now. And so I am concerned about me holding up. Hope I completely run a muck!